our bags are packed and lined up in the living room. the goodbyes have been said. but we are NOT leaving for Uganda tomorrow. i'm not sure what we will be doing tomorrow, but it won't involve us getting on an airplane. it seems that i have a medical condition that requires our immediate attention. the doctor is very firm that the symptoms must be resolved before i can leave the country.
here's the background... (if you want all the details)
i began having stomach issues about 3 wks. ago, and went to the doctor. he concluded that i had a bacterial infection and treated me with antibiotics. i kept feeling worse and worse, but knew that the medicine had some yucky side effects, so i decided to "tough it out" until my round with it was up. i finished the medicine just before Christmas and still wasn't any better. Sunday, i went to convenient care and stressed to the doctor - "i'm leaving the country in 3 days! - i need to be over this!" he got me an appt. with a GI doc. yesterday who very directly told me that i wasn't leaving until we had answers to what was going on. this all shook us up, of course, but, thinking that we were still dealing with a bacterial infection, we assumed i would get new (better) medicine and, at the worst, our flight would be rescheduled for next week.
the verdict... (if you're in a hurry)
we found out this am that i have ulcerative colitis, which is a fancy way of saying that i have a very inflamed colon. yeah, yuck! it is (probably) a hereditary condition that i've always had but it has chosen now (maybe because of stress?) to act up. it isn't curable but can be treated with medicine. this isn't what we wanted to hear, but it could be a lot worse. the most difficult part is that we won't be flying out tomorrow of even next week. the doctor is saying we need to wait at least a month to see how this medicine affects me.
we are still kinda in shock and, of course, experiencing an emotional letdown. my nature is to fight this... i want to so bad! part of me says, "i'm really not so sick. i can do this! let's just go and believe that the medicine will do its job." but the spiritual part of me tells me that i'm not suppose to fight and throw a fit. i'm suppose to be humble and trust God. the timing of this is just too ridiculous to not have God's hand in it. i'm not saying He has cause this sickness, but i have NO doubt he has a purpose in it. we have no clue what that purpose could be, but eventually it will be clear and beautiful. we still know that God is making this transition happen. what is 4 or 5 wks in the breadth of our lifetime? maybe there is a place where we need to give in the next few weeks. maybe there is something that God knows we need to receive from Him. perhaps we aren't as prepared for this trip as we thought we were. my daddy always tells me that "Everything is Father-Filtered." so, among the frustration and disappointment, the peace is still there.
we SO appreciate your prayers, but please don't worry about me! i have no doubt my intestines will recover just fine - and my pride probably needed the injury. :)
In his heart, a man plans a course, but the Lord determines his steps. Prov. 16:9