Sunday, November 21, 2010

-posted by mika

things are moving at a frenzied and exciting pace now. last Sunday we were able to announce to our church what our plans are. what a relief to finally talk about it all openly! so, it has been a week of many significant conversations, hugs, and tears. it has also been busy with house projects, trying to get this thing ready to sell! our kitchen is no longer green, just blah brown. (well, tumbleweed to be exact) we have a lovely new front door, shutters, clean fixtures and baseboards. books and journals are going in boxes. several boxes are for goodwill, and it's embarrassing how much just needed to be taken to the dump.
yes, this is really happening, and it's starting to sink in. our boys have had to process this rather quickly, as we just told them two days before we made it public. they are doing so well, especially considering that everything is full-speed-ahead. their toy stash had already been greatly consolidated from our previous yard sale. they didn't even ask why we were getting rid of their stuff and whined about very little that was sold. we sold their bunk beds yesterday, and they were delighted to "camp out" on the floor. they really are excited about the adventure ahead! Judah has expressed concerned interest over what we will eat there (always important for him!), and he's not too thrilled about the immunization shots coming up. Josiah laments that he can't take his air rifle to Uganda, but is comforted by our promise to keep it in storage. all three of my boys are really going to miss the woods behind our house! but i know what it means when i hear people say, "God gives you grace for what He calls you to." we are in His grace right now! i am physically, mentally, emotionally tired - but i feel God's strength when i think about WHY we are doing this. it is so worth it! my heart is sad and solemn when i look in my friends' faces - but it is a sadness that is made sweet by the recognition that the years of memories behind us and the genuine love between us is what makes goodbye so hard. what a blessing to have friends that think you are worth caring so deeply about!
yes, God's grace is sufficient. some people have commented to me, "i could never be as brave as you take my kids to Africa." "you're so strong to be able to do this." "i don't know how you're ok with just getting rid of all of your stuff." my response is always - "i'm NOT!" i'm not brave or strong or unselfish. it is just God's grace. i'm swimming deep in it right now.

1 comment:

  1. Yes, it is hard! I tell people this all the time when they say, "I couldn't foster." "I couldn't give them back." "I would love them too much." Hmmm...yes, that is why I cry before every visitation, get nervous before court dates, and remind myself constantly that God loves these children more than I ever could!