coming clean

i know.  i was doing pretty good, and now it's been almost 2 months of silence.  i've actually been trying to write a blog in my head for a couple of weeks now...

i thought about doing something lyrical about the African rain and posting some cool pics to go with it.  but i'm no Ann Voskamp, and my lyrical attempts at writing are just funny.  lyrical is not suppose to be funny.

i thought about doing something informative about Ugandan culture - like how we shop for food beside the road or documenting how the Ugandans roast and eat the white ants that are crawling around everywhere right now.

but, really, i've been waiting on something spectacular to happen -  some inspiring ministry story or a dramatic challenge that we've recently faced.   something that you would find worth your time to read, and, perhaps (here's the real truth...) be impressed by.

well, life has been quite normal lately, and i have this need tonight to "un-impress" you.  so, i should tell you that i had a little moment today.  (and it really was little - nothing HUGE)  i've had a few waves of homesickness lately; then the big wave came today.  it isn't that i am homesick for a place but, rather, for people.  i miss my family.  i miss my church family.  i miss not being the minority.  (i could go on, but i won't)  so, i gave the T the privilege of wearing a few of my tears on his sleeve, and i felt a bit better.  then, i gave God the privilege of hearing my heart, and i felt a lot better.  then, i cooked french toast for supper after which we watched a downloaded episode of Duck Dynasty, and i do think i'm going to be alright. :)

i wish you could just come spend a week in my home and see for yourself that the highs and lows/ ebbs and flows are just like they've always been.  i wish i would stop putting this pressure on myself to make you think anything different - that our life is more rich, exciting, _____ (fill in the blank) than it used to be.  i do remember, when we first moved here, saying something like this:  "it's is the most challenging thing we've ever done, but it is also the most fulfilling."  well, half of that was a lie.  challenging, oh my goodness - yes!  but, MOST fulfilling - no.  our 10 yrs of ministry in Jackson, TN were incredibly fulfilling... and still fulfilling to us.  this is fulfilling to us as well, but in a very different way.  but, then, i don't think we are suppose to rate and compare the different seasons of our life.  it's not as if we are sitting at a banquet table being served a four-course meal, where one course is simply a prelude to something bigger, better.  as long as we are living in obedience to God, then whatever is before us should be fully consumed and enjoyed.  there's no need to save our appetite for what is coming next.  (i'm giving myself a pep talk right now, if you can't tell!)

but the main purpose of this post is for me 
to remove the filter of only sharing when i think i have something profound or uplifting to say. 
to stop waiting for the riveting days while ignoring the struggling days.

and maybe i will post about the African rain soon.  i'll just stick to the pics, bc i do have some rather cool ones.